(Gif
file -- you
don't need to
send a snail mail address)
To receive
your beautiful certificate, simply send me an email with "cert" in the subject line.
Provide the name you want on the certificate and let me know where in
the world you are located
(I'm just curious).
Choose your own language, too!
Free -- no obligation.
Do see my email policy.
FAQs
You can enter a
friend's name if you
truly
believe they could pass the test.
Aso available in German, French, Dutch,
and Norwegian.
This is not an automated
process.
Your certificate won't
immediately arrive in your
email maibox because it first has to be handcrafted by me, a real
person.
Consequently,
I'm sometimes a little slow, I procrastinate, or I have to take the dog
for a walk, but if you don't hear from me within 48 hours, please
resend.
Frequently
Asked
Questions
Does this cost anything?
ZIP! -- unless
you really want
to throw away your money.
What are the advantages of
joining the society?
You get a
certificate and the
privilege of adding M.G. behind your name. You will also receive, via
email,
with your certificate, instructions for the secret Mad Gardener
greeting
(imagine, recognizing fellow mad gardeners immediately on meeting!)
And,
of course, free access to the Garden Humour Website anytime you like --
don't forget to bookmark it!
Do I have any obligations as a
member?
ZIP!
What, exactly does "fully
committed" mean?
Er, you know,
er serious, dedicated
-- something like that.
Is that all?
Yup.
What should I do with my
certificate?
Mount it on a
huge sign in your
front yard -- let the world know that you are mad.
Will I be spammed if I join?
No! There are
no strange initiation
ceremonies.
Will there be regular meetings?
Only if you
organize them.
What are my rights and
privileges?
You have the
right to tell anyone
who will listen that you are a mad gardener, and you have the privilege
of providing lettuce aaaand zucchini to your whole neighbourhood.
Can I send a certificate to my
friend?
Only if your
friend is as mad
as you are.
How many mad gardeners are
there?
Just look
around you at the
garden centre.
See the membership list
Your e-mail address is safe
forever!
This is not a
tacky attempt to
get hold of your e-mail address and spam you to death.
I have no wish to
be a pest to
gardeners, or anyone else.
I swear on
a stack of seed
catalogues that I won't sell your e-mail address to . . .
Publishers
Clearing House, the
National Enquirer, Jerry Baker, George Dubya,
or any other
living soul or heartless
entity -- even Bill Gates
(don't kid
yourself, he's already
got it).
Nor will I scrawl
it on the wall
of any building or in any public washroom,
and you will
never receive e-mail
addressed to "Dear internet friend".
In fact, the
absolutely only thing
I will ever do is send you your certificate
and very, VERY
(maybe once a year at most) occasional
news about the website that you wouldn't want to miss anyway.
Oh, and if I ever
get another book
finished. I might let you know. That's it! Nothing else. Period.
No salesman will
call.
David
Hobson
Back
The Garden Humour Website.
Any resemblance of characters to
persons living, dead,
or on a compost heap is purely
coincidental
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©1998/1999/2000/2001/2002/2003/2004/2005
and beyond
Email
David Hobson
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