Garden Humour (Hortus facetiae). The aphids are coming, the aphids are coming
    Strange items in the Garden

    I have a huge piece of driftwood that resembles Darth Vader ~ Dibble
    A broken air conditioner that makes a good potting table ~ Shirl
    'Miss Prisilla Lady Bug" -- a yard art addition created by my husband from a 1940 Ford Deluxe Hub-Cap, EGR Valve, and lawn mower wheel adjuster bars! ~ Lin
    The neatest thing I saw was a whole row of old bowling balls, lined up in a
    curving border underneath a row of hostas. The foliage overflowed the
    bowling balls. ~ Molly
    I have pair of pink plastic flamingos and a wooden carving of a Little
    Blue Heron.  ~ Karen
    I have an old picture frame leaning against a stump where the basil and
    oregano grow up around it. ~ Angela
    I have a pottery frog on a lily pad upon which rides a leprechaun who
    guards the garden. ~ Mary Anne
    Our neighbours cat . . . after a trip to the taxidermist . . . we move it
    everyday so they think it is still using our gardens for a litter box ~ Jeanne
    The most interesting thing in my garden is a old ceramic bed pan that gets hung up with plants cascading out of both holes. ~ Miss Cathy.
    I have a 6 ft tall man made of welding rebar with large washers for
    eyes.  I hang finch feeders on his arms.  During the Christmas season,
    he becomes a she with lights that look like a dress. ~ Mona
    My wife for one, a collection of old bowling balls is another, and various skulls. But the funniest looking thing must be me. ~ John
    In my woodland walk garden is a tree with opening at bottom. Out of
    scrap wood, I made a door and window with window box full of flowers.
    You would swear an elf lives there! ~ Denise
    I have 2 planters, each is made out of half of an aluminum beer keg.
    ~ Janice
    I have a big hole in the ground, about five feet across, left by a tree
    that was blown over by Hurricane Floyd.  I'm still trying to remove some of
    the roots. ~ Chris
    I have a lobster trap that I purchased in Nova Scotia when I lived there. I now live in land-locked St. Albert, Alberta!!! I won't catch many lobsters but it sure is a great conversation piece! ~ Janet
    Two "yard art" squirrels painted with day glow lime green halloween hair
    spray . . . compliments of my creative daughter (It hasn't washed off, yet!).
    ~ Deb
    I've got a genuine Brisbane City Council Parking Meter!  The full 100%
    brass clockwork workings in it and it still goes.  It's $1 an hour to
    park here! Paul
    A voodoo Garden Blessing Stix, a Tequila TEDDY, the Garden Ghoul 
    who you can see on the web, and ME of course! ~ Rose
    In my garden lives the bottom half of a naked mannequin, turned upside
    down, as if she has just plunged into the earth. I change her slippers
    each month to fit the season. ~ Rose of Charlotte
    The broken down, stripped remains of a 1988 Suzuki Samurai which my
    husband dragged into the garden for parts for his own truck. I'm going
    to fill it with earth and daisies this year! ~ Jill
    I have a huge piece of driftwood that I mounted on 2 stakes in my garden that is the best looking piece of yard art you have ever seen.  It seems to be quite a conversation piece to any visitors coming in by boat or on land.
    ~ June
    I have the Holy Grail. It's buried at about 200 meters depth. ~ Jorge
    I have my old winter boots that will contain soil and impatiens are going; a flamingo; and a couple of ceramic frogs and plastic snakes that do great keeping some bugs away. ~ Carguy
    Hugs and camomile tea ~ Marinka
    I have a woodchuck who is faster than a blooming pansy, more powerful 
    than a sunken fence, and able to leap to a morning glory in a single bound.
    ~ Cynthia
    Bearded dragons - handsome lizards, maximum l6 inches long and quite tame. Only bad habit: laying eggs in our gravel driveway. Yesterday a 6 inch baby one had a 4 inch grasshopper protruding from its mouth!
    ~  Beryl
    There are a lot of CD-roms hanging in our trees to keep the
    birds away. ~ Maren
    I have a  cement head we call "the tomato god" which got my friend a B in art class and then he gave it to me. ~ Gardmar
    I have Airedales. Sam, who stalks daisies, wrestles them to the ground and romps in a triumphant victory lap around the garden.
    I have Bryon who eats the asparagus and then pees on them. I have Bonnie who licks the raspberries from the canes. And now  I have Happy Head who eats nasturtiums. ~ Vicki
    Two rusted iron old "things" used to stop leaves to go down the gutter which look good as mini pot holders, Three circles of rusted iron formerly part of deceased oak barrels (1 french/2 US) used as memory wreaths; in the greenhouse a picture of Geoff Hamilton to keep me company in the garden. ~ Kokliko
    I have a fairly realistic looking statue of a Native American, hunting, but he's only about two feet tall. ~ Judi
    I have an old toilet in the garden! The tank is filled with snaps and
    baby's-breath & the bowl with pansies geraniums & bacopa!!!!! ~ Tammy
    A John Deere 4320! And no, I don't live on a farm.  My neighbour brought his dad's tractor over to 'till' my little vegetable patch. It was a bit of over kill to say the least. ~ Pat
    Five wild, yet somewhat distinguished turkeys that parade single file
    out of the woods, circle around the lawn, then approach their destination - The Russian Olive and the High Bush Cranberry . . . Secure that they have the area to themselves, they drop the 'distinguished' guise and beginning this athletic and amusing dance (or self-propelled flopping) that shoots them up to the level of the berries . . . All winter the dance has become more and more ummm -- spectacular as they ran out of berries on the lower parts of the bushes. ~ Liatris
    I have an old wok (non rusty)  which has metamorphasized into a birdbath
    and some old bricks in a heap which I never put away and now clematis
    cover them. ~ Goddess of dirt
    Old black cast iron bucket-a-day stove, filled with soil and Hosta. ~ Mom
    I have made a privacy fence around my patio out of vintage doors.  In
    place of the  glass in the windows I display hanging baskets of annuals
    in the frame.  One door has a mirror in that space to reflect back on
    the patio and garden.  Honeysuckle is growing up the back of the doors.
    ~ Lynn
    I made a man of bark that comes out of the earth at the thigh. His pine root 
    hands hold the fountain that streams into my pond. My 2yr. old calls him bark boy. ~ Kim
    I manage a garden centre, and I'm not sure if my customers or employees are the strangest things there! -- Maybe customers who describe a plant as having green leaves! ~ Cherie
    3 years ago I made a 4 ft + diameter sphere from willow and birch branches. I grow morning glory and sweet peas on it. At night I light candle in the middle of it. ~ cleOme~
    We have unwanted stones & pebbles in the garden right now -- lots of them.  We need to add top soil and peat moss and start from scratch this year at our new condo.  Please wish us well : ) ~ Liz
    In the green foliage of the garden you can see my 14 gnomes and helpers weeding my garden. ~ Dianne
    I have an old wooden ladder with shelves made of old wooden porch swing parts that is a great place for driftwood, enamelware watering can, hand trowel and of course flowers. ~ Lisa
    I have a fountain made from a 17 gallon wash tub with a 2 gallon watering can pouring water into the wash tub. I also have fluorescent pink iron flamingo, with a place for potted flowers in it's back. ~ Sandy
    I can't take credit for this, but my sister has a transvestite elf in her garden. She also has a plastic alien. She has better taste than I do. ~ Katherine
    I have recycled a solid wood California King waterbed frame into a raised bed vegetable garden. It's both whimsical and functional! ~ Brenda
    Trying a  new approach to Annihilate aphids, I purchased 1500 ladybugs at our local nursery. After following the instruction, I anxiously went out the third day to see if any were still on my orange tree. And low and behold there was two lady bugs doing the big nasty right in my front yard in full view of the neighbours. I got my camera with the telephoto lens and took their picture. As I took their picture (which by the way did not deter their actions one bit!), a THIRD lady bug came out and then there was a ménage de trois. For privacy and discretion, I have put a black line across their faces. ~ Sharon
    My son (three years old) and I are constantly ridding the garden of monstrous weeds and other undesirables (we seem to grow rocks as well as plants.) In order to keep a steady flow of things going we enlist the help of our favourite Tonka monster truck . . . my son faithfully retrieves the weeds from me as I yank them up and transports them out of our precious piece of earth.  At the end of each session of yanking and hauling he parks the truck in the centre of the garden as if to warn future intruders of their eminent doom. ~ Nancy
    I have a metal wheel barrow that looks like it came across the Oregon Trail, it is so abused.  I have an old log sitting on it with flowers in it.
    ~ Marie
    Digging in the garden one day, I found a brick path that led to the (now gone) outhouse. I hated the thought of covering up this very important path in ones life. So I decided to restore it. I put a toilet at the end of it. (An excellent planter!) ~ Maria
    I have 3 old tires my son carted home from a field. We filled them with soil and plant vegetables in them. This year we're going to use a Stork Screen door for vines to climb up. Recycling at it's best! We also have various 'critters' decorating our garden including a cement alligator -- which we would never see in a garden in Canada! ~ Robin
    One day my eye was caught by a brightly coloured plastic toy shopping cart 
    laying on my neighbour's trash pile.  I couldn't resist taking it and putting 
    it into my garden.  I will put potted Marigolds into it with some vining 
    plants, and set it in the midst of my multicoloured flower bed.  It has 
    weathered three winters so it will last for some years ahead.  Since I have 
    "naughty" animals in my garden that love to chew the ground level flowers, 
    this cart raises the flowers up to a saving height. ~ Elsie
    Another peculiar item in my garden, is a hardened sack of cement, which now supports a cement shell shaped bowl into which I have planted various creeper type Sedum, that gives my garden a unique feature.  Sometime I can add a colourful potted flowering plant.  The cement has hardened to the point that I cannot move it, so its now probably a permanent feature in the garden. ~ Esie
    I have a huge piece of driftwood which my family and I came across on a boat trip around the islands of the Sunshine Coast BC. It really is huge! We packed it onto our small motor boat (and it nearly sank us) but we were determined to bring it back home to Alberta.
    I also have 2 'friendlyish' looking gargoyle dudes which I got as a birthday gift a couple of years ago. They are there to protect my iris against iris borer. So far so good! ~ Shauna
    I started my garden years ago.  Since then I have collected rocks from around the world on my various wanderings and placed them in my garden.  I have rocks from Kenora and as far out as Laos (Asia).  They make quite a conversation piece. ~ Tammy
    I have a five foot hole in my backyard - my friend thought that I needed a compost bin - how do I retrieve the compost once it is done?? ~ Vera
    I have a wicker Canada goose with only one wing; the other wing is outstretched as though to catch a passing breeze. He/she/it is nestled among the ferns and a large hosta (aka slug treat). ~ Karen
    In our garden we have an old brick barbecue that serves as a makeshift vine trellis and houses a stone dwarf as well! ~ Tanya
    Our boat, "Frog" sits on the other side of the fishing shed. The Frog was our favourite toy when our children were small. St. Joseph Island, Canada was the Frog's and our vacation spot. ~ Chris
    In my garden there is  a duck
    And a yellow Hot Wheels truck
    Sometimes there appears an inline skate
    When that happens I get irate! ~ The Mad Poet
    Hillbilly Gazing Ball - The gazing ball in my garden is the hub cap off a tractor-trailor.  It was free, won't break like a fancy, expensive glass ball and reflects the garden scene around it while it glistens in the sun in all its stainless steel beauty. ~ Carol
     I have an old broom in my garden. With the handle stuck into the ground, then I put sunglasses in the top and add some lips. Over the years the top of the broom has fallen down over the glasses so that it looks like hair.
    ~ Donna
    I have my husbands old red golf bag by my garden. It holds my garden tools.
    ~ Donna
    In my Garden I have 6 old tires that will become a veggie garden, and an old green metal fence meant to keep the dogs out, but of course it does not work. And strange doggie toys. There is also a mound of old bricks which I laughingly call a barbecue. ~ Lindy
    I have a four foot high domed birdcage sitting over my peony to prevent my German Shepherd from using the peony as a personal pillow. ~ Theresa
    On some days I would say my 2 boys and their gear, but in reality I have 4 candle holders that we made from threaded pole, a gutter guard and a container . . . it works great until it rains then the candles go out . . . go figure!   ~ Diana
    I have my grandmother's old bread mixing pans and pie plates in the middle of my garden, filled with my favourite flowers. ~ Paulette
    An autographed photo of Winston Churchill smoking a cigar. ~ Norman
    A very old twin bed frame that this year will be supporting Yugoslavian
    watermelons . . . the bed will not be on it's side as one might suspect . . .but sitting in it's proper position so that there is a mattress of watermelon vines with watermelon pillows spread about. ~ Maurie
     
     

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